The dating scene can be hit-and-miss. You meet up with a guy and wonder if he’s the one. Sometimes he isn’t. To save you time, let’s show you how to identify the wheat from the tares when looking for the right man.
Alcohol And Other Addictions
For those struggling with addiction and alcohol issues, they can be good at hiding the issue, especially if they are trying to make a good first impression.
However, once your relationship progresses, the truth will eventually surface. If you have an inch of doubt about what the guy is telling you regarding being clean and sober, have a chat with his friends.
A Minimal Life
You go to the home of your current boyfriend and notice a glaring problem: there is nothing in his cupboards, and the fridge (as well as the bathroom) has only a couple of items in it.
It can be an indicator that the guy doesn’t know how to (or can’t be bothered to) look after himself. Do you want to take on the role of his pseudo-mother?
Always Out Of Work
Here is a man who looks for any excuse to quit a job. He’ll give you a ton of reasons as to why he left. Take that as a warning because the guy is struggling with ego issues and is not willing to change.
It’s Everybody Else’s Fault
It takes a lot of guts to admit when you’re wrong and take accountability for your actions. If your man always points the finger at everyone else (including you), then he isn’t willing to accept fault. He will play the victim, and you and this world are the bad eggs.
Oh, I Agree
How many times have you uttered those words but weren’t listening to what was being said? If a guy is constantly consenting to everything you say or suggest, take it as a huge red flag. It could be he wasn’t paying attention to what you told him. Also, it may be a sign that he has self-confidence issues and is too scared to say what he thinks.
I Already Want To Live With You
You just met your guy. Things have been going swimmingly for the past month now he wants to move in with you. He tells you that you’re the woman of “his dreams” and constantly flatters you. However, everything is happening too fast for your liking.
It takes time to get to know each other on an intimate and emotional level. Don’t let the sweet words force you into agreeing to do something you aren’t comfortable with. If the guy presses you to speed things up, take it as a warning sign. What’s his motivation for rushing the process?
You Can Pay The Bill
You are on a date, and the bill comes. How you handle the situation depends on what you and your partner have agreed on before the time. An unwritten social rule is that “a gentleman always pays.” Yet, you could split the bill.
A red flag is raised when your man always expects you to pay.
Psychological Abuse
This can be hard to detect as it has nuances that can be subtle. However, if you sense the man is making you feel small, unworthy, or is manipulating you, then pay attention to those signs. Do yourself a favor and end the relationship. The guy isn’t going to change anytime soon.
He Doesn’t Care About Your Opinions
If your discussions are always one-sided (and it’s not your side) it leaves you feeling like your views aren’t important. The guy could be an ego-maniac who only values his own opinions.
Ask yourself if you want to build a relationship with such a guy knowing that he’ll very rarely (if ever) listen to what you have to say.
He Isn’t Nice To Others
Want a true indicator of character? Watch to see how your man speaks and treats other people.
Is he polite or argumentative to staff when you are out shopping or on a date? Does he love to make people feel like they are inferior to him?
If that’s the case, then it shows he has very little empathy and compassion.
He Doesn’t Have A Life
Are you the only thing in your man’s life? If so, then it can signal that the guy is suffering from social issues. We all need hobbies and friends. A guy who has neither is going to expect you to fill a huge void in his life. Can you cope with being his whole world, literally?
The Guy Is Moody
One minute the guy is happy, and you’re both having a great time. Then you say or do something that suddenly sets him off like a firecracker. You’ve gone from 100 to 0 in a few seconds and are left reeling.
People with low emotional IQ have a hard time regulating their feelings. Perhaps the guy will eventually learn to control himself, but how long are you willing to wait while you ride that emotional rollercoaster?
He Has No Self-awareness
Self-awareness allows one to see themselves in a realistic perspective. You see the strengths and weaknesses of your character and are willing to work on the imperfections. A guy who can’t be self-aware is blind to his flaws. You can spend your time pointing them out, but he will still struggle to spot them.
There Is No Compromise
It takes two to tango, right? But if one of the partners won’t relinquish control, things get awkward. A relationship is a partnership that requires give and take from both sides. If the guy won’t compromise, it’s going to make things tough for you. Imagine how miserable, frustrated, and stressed you will be.
Boundaries Are Violated
Healthy relationships have boundaries, things we expect the other party to respect and agree to. For example, having a weekly catch-up with your friends.
When the boundaries are being stepped on and disrespected, it makes one feel violated. It’s an indication that the person has complete disregard for your wants and needs.
Gets Upset When You Succeed
If you have been recognized or achieved something because of your hard work and dedication, most people will be happy for you. A man who doesn’t celebrate your success may be suffering from deep-seated self-esteem issues or is egotistical.
A constant resentment and jealousy towards others from your man can quickly become emotionally tiresome and deflating for you.
You Can’t Rely On Him
Do you find the man you want to start a relationship with consistently lets you down? He tells you one thing yet fails to carry through on what he said. What about when you have set up a date with him? Does he fail to show up?
These are all red flags that the guy is no good for you and he doesn’t care.
I Need Some Cash
A man who keeps asking you for money should set off alarm bells in your head. What’s he blowing all his cash on? You are supposed to be his partner, not his bank.
Insults Women
Not all females are saints. Nor are men “all that,” too. However, a guy who pours out non-stop hatred and slurs against females shows he has a major problem.
He tends To Have A Lot Of Females On His Social Media.
There is nothing technically bad about having female followers/friends on a social media account. The warning sign is if that’s the type of audience your man is trying to attract. How committed is the guy to the relationship? You don’t want a “player” as your significant other.
Hiding Messages
The foundation of any relationship is trust. A guy who is reluctant to show you his text messages, emails, or social media accounts should raise red flags with you. It leaves you wondering what he is being so secretive about. There are times when keeping something from a significant other is acceptable such as when the person is planning a surprise. Yet, if the man won’t let you see any message of his, then trust and honesty are left floundering.
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