Narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) is a mental health condition characterized by an inflated sense of self-importance, a deep need for admiration, and a lack of empathy for others. People with NPD often make others feel uncomfortable or even belittled. If you find yourself in conversation with someone who exhibits narcissistic traits, here are 18 things they might do and how you can respond:
They Will Dominate the Conversation
Narcissists love to be the center of attention and often talk over others or monopolize the conversation.
How to respond: Gently but firmly assert your right to participate in the conversation. If you need to, excuse yourself to take a break.
They Will Talk Incessantly About Themselves
Narcissists are highly self-absorbed and will often talk at length about their accomplishments, possessions, or problems without ever asking about their lives.
How to respond: Politely steer the conversation towards a more balanced exchange. If the narcissist doesn’t respond, politely excuse yourself.
They Will Fish for Compliments
Narcissists crave admiration and will often subtly or overtly ask for compliments.
How to respond: Be cautious about offering compliments, which may fuel their inflated self-esteem. Instead, you can offer genuine appreciation for their positive attributes.
They Will Criticize Others
Narcissists often feel superior to others and may criticize their appearance, intelligence, or accomplishments to make themselves feel better.
How to respond: Don’t take their criticism personally. Instead, calmly and assertively defend the criticized person or ignore their remarks.
They Will Play the Victim
Narcissists often portray themselves as victims to gain sympathy and attention.
How to respond: Take your time with their act. Acknowledge their feelings without accepting their victimhood. Please encourage them to take responsibility for their actions.
They Will Blame Others
Narcissists never take responsibility for their own mistakes or shortcomings and will always find someone else to blame.
How to respond: Don’t accept their blame. Hold them accountable for their actions and encourage them to take ownership of their problems.
They Will Lie
Narcissists often lie to make themselves look better, avoid getting in trouble, or manipulate others.
How to respond: Refrain from believing everything they say. If you suspect a lie, call them out on it calmly and assertively.
They Will Gaslight You
Gaslighting is a form of psychological manipulation in which a person makes you doubt your own sanity. Narcissists may use gaslighting to control their victims.
How to respond: Trust your instincts. If you feel like the narcissist is gaslighting you, seek support from trusted friends or family members.
They Will Love Bomb You
Love bombing is a form of manipulation in which a person showers you with attention and affection to gain your trust and control.
How to respond: Be cautious of excessive attention or affection. Take things slowly and assess their intentions carefully.
They Will Triangulate You
Triangulation is a form of manipulation in which a narcissist creates conflict or competition between two or more people.
How to respond: Refrain from participating in their game. Maintain healthy relationships with the people involved and avoid taking sides.
They Will Invade Your Boundaries
Narcissists often disregard personal boundaries and may pry into your personal life or make inappropriate comments.
How to respond: Clearly and firmly set boundaries. Tell them your unacceptable behaviors, and be prepared to enforce those boundaries.
They Will Lack Empathy
Narcissists struggle to understand or care about the feelings of others.
How to respond: Expect them to stay the same. Accept their lack of empathy and focus on protecting your emotional well-being.
They Will Make You Feel Uncomfortable
Narcissists often make others feel uncomfortable or even belittled with their self-absorbed behavior or insensitive comments.
How to respond: Trust your instincts. Excuse yourself from the conversation if you feel uncomfortable, or end the interaction altogether.
They Will Make Empty Promises
Narcissists often make promises they have no intention of keeping.
How to respond: Don’t rely on their promises. Hold them accountable for their actions, not their words.
They Will Refuse to Apologize
Narcissists rarely admit their mistakes or apologize for their actions.
How to respond: Don’t expect an apology. Focus on moving forward and protecting yourself from further harm.
They Will Try to Change You
Narcissists often try to mold others to fit their expectations.
How to respond: Resist their attempts to change you. Be true to yourself and maintain your sense of identity.
They Refrain From Asking You Any Questions
Narcissists dominate conversations by sharing exclusively about themselves, without any interest in engaging with or considering others’ contributions. They skillfully steer the discussion away from others’ perspectives, leaving little room for meaningful interaction.
How to respond: Listen for keywords or themes the other person introduces and seamlessly incorporate them into your replies. This technique demonstrates genuine interest and encourages a more reciprocal exchange.
Narcissists Have Two Rules: One for Themselves and Another for Everyone Else
When confronted with the need to follow rules or face consequences, they believe they are above the law and exempt from adhering to the same standards as others.
How to respond: The temptation to appease them out of guilt or to avoid conflict is understandable. However, resisting the urge to constantly strive to make their lives “fair” at the expense of unreasonable personal sacrifices is essential.
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